is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
