She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize