You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
