I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
