I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize