Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
