Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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