just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
