What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
