i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
