He had one of those small greek statue penises
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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