Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
