Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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