i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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