I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
