i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Randomize
