i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
