Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
