I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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