ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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