Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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