I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
