why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
