I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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