No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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