New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
