the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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