trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
