oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
