I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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