I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
