I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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