can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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