conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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