if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
