What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
