like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize