This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
