Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
