So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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