Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We have started to decorate penises.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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