Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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