it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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