My brain says no but my pants say off.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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