we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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