Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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