He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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