I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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