at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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