you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
