If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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