Someone shit on the floor
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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