every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
