Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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