STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
