they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
