The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
