You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
