he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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