it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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