ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
