Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Is it because I queefed?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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