i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
