I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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