Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
