I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
